Tuesday, August 14, 2012

My baby days-years

Being a mother makes you a complete woman. That's what I heard. But completing that stage actually takes some serious guts. 

My baby days began.

 I stopped dreaming about sleep. Late at night I worry like the usual mothers whether my lil one is awake, pooping, crying, playing, drooling and so on. Also if the blankie is over his nose or under his chin. If he's breathing right or if his breathing has turned shallow...these were some of my worries to begin with. And its all job of a mom. No one can actually help. I am on a constant run to make things right for my baby. To see if he is happy. To see if he would smile at me- only at me. Or maybe play all by himself (if he could). Sometimes at night if he does sleep, I silently cry a 'hurrah' and get on with the life I am left with. Yes, during pregnancy I never dreamt of a life with a baby. The aftermath is often scary. The before part is just a preview. No wonder all that vomitings and sleepy days were there to help you cope with the worst later. 

For the first few days I felt like a harassed woman. The third degree kind of sorts. My body hurt, I couldn't sit for a month without moaning inside (maybe I even cried inside), I was scare to make a trip to the loo, I felt jealous of the men around (their work was obviously to just make a baby!). Contacting my single friends and hearing about their lives only made my days a living horror. Where was that sweet days that the baby magazines promised?  On top of all that- people constantly asking me to eat this/eat that. Don't eat this/ don't eat that...God I wanted to just rewind the last nine months and say goodbye to motherhood. 

Then there are some days I worry why he poops so less or why he poops so much. Why his eyes water? why this? why that???????

I cannot say about the anatomy of a baby but they sure makes you run on your toes. 

After three months I can say that I have fallen completely in love with this lil boy. The first month, I can't say for sure if I even know what happened (Feels like an accident). 

Now when I hear people planning babies, I really don't understand why.


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