Monday, November 28, 2011

And why I never want...

Tapad se nahi saab, injection se darr lagta hai...
Life is not easy. So says my doctor. Not when he waves that injection at me. I have always been the healthy types, have been fed religiously on the most exquisite meals, never craved the junk food...well, other than the cheese on the Dominos pizza and perhaps that fried chicken at KFC but then its not my regular kind of food. I still love the gud ol' soft idlies by my mom (I have been having stones in the name of idlies ever since I moved but then that's another story). But then why, God why that injection needle has to get inside me! I have incidences of fainting seeing one too and people laughing but then they do not know how sensitive my heart is. 
I see blood taken by a nurse and the amount of blood almost makes me faint but then not to embarrass myself, I hold on. I guess marrying an officer you have to yourself brave (even if its just for show). Difficult not to feel when I see that needle going in. But (God Bless the nurse) it didn't really feel anything. 
I know.
So much of drama!
Now I go home happily away from needles for a while now. 

Wednesday, November 23, 2011

Day 10 without him

The first day I saw him off, I slept in the most bizzare position on bed, my arms and legs all over the bed. ALL is MINE now. Second day I managed to get up late and eat breakfast of chips and bread and then chips again. The fat woman inside me wanting to be appeased with more fatty foods. The TV was on 24/7 and I lost interest in my help, shooing them off for my own luxury. The movies were getting interesting, yes I watch those made in the late 80's with all that saas bahu drama and just can't stop. I watch the horror ones too, sometimes they get too monotonous for me too. I have stopped getting scared from those evil faces too.

The excitement has given way to sad songs now. How can i ever forget you Jagjit Singh? You have only managed to pour more salt over my wounds though. I keep listening to 'Hum Tumhare nahi toh kya ghum hai', the drama queen inside me just lying around and feel bad for myself.

Time to get back to the old self again and start writing a little or at least read a little more than I am doing right now. Another week and more and then he will be home. I guess I can be my drama wife-y self again. I can't live the bachelor life all over again. Its just so weird. 

Thursday, November 17, 2011

Married To The Olive Green- The good, the bad and the ugly (a book review)

The Good: If you are a newly wed, coming from a civil background then this book with fairly help you. It will set you with what to expect and how to become a basic model Army wife. It has recopies for cocktails, a write up about how to entertain guests and even measurements of things if you want to cook for different number of crowds. Also a lengthy How-to-groom-yourself also makes an interesting read. How to address the officers and seniors could also help you become socially acceptable in the crowd in the beginning years.

The Bad: Its a book especially intended for Army wives in the Indian Army. No Airforce, no Navy, its only Army that has its hold firmly placed of a woman in the man's world. There are rules, rules, rules all over the book. Good thing it hasn't written how to use a washroom. Sadly disappointed with the analysis of how an Army wife should and should not do once she is married. The book is a huge but not so thick (in pages) with a supposed inspirational poem on the duties of an army wife.
It does have these photographs which makes me wonder how long ago this was written. Perhaps when India was still dealing with independence but still following the British traditions. A saree clad woman standing close to a man of importance. She looks quiet yet that smile never leaves her lips. I couldn't see the smile in her eyes.

The Ugly: I do not know what i expected of this book. It is more of a manual but with some interesting bits that spells out how a senior lady is supposed to behave with a junior wife. I should be saying senior OFFICER'S wife but i deliberately missed that part out. Officer is always out of the picture when ladies get together. The rank always stays put though. This is what the book spells out too. It is also a book of rules that  acts only on paper rather than in reality. I don't know for whom this book was written to impress.

I would definitely recommend another edition of this book with the changes that are taking place in the army today. And with wives coming from more modern and good families, they have a different outlook to being an army wife. Its an old wives tale (no use of proverbs here) but this is what the book is about. Its time for something new to be introduced. Its Anna Hazare's time after all.

Time away from husbands

Being an Army Wife is not really easy and with husbands away it is pretty much making this job a bit harder than it already is. Separation is perhaps the part of his job and slowly it's only a few years when you start getting used to it. Perhaps even start making plans as to what to do when I am all alone without the routine of  wife-ly duties. Lots of drama that goes in the background.
It starts with the usual question: "When are you coming back?" "Where are you going?" "Why you?" "Will you be very busy?" "Will get time to call?" followed by some vague answers that sometimes don't make sense.
The night he leaves feels like the end of the world. Inside you are literally begging him not to go but isn't this part of the deal when you become a wife of a man in uniform?
But then as you get used to living alone, books come out as you get time to read, watching those old movies, eating fried stuff more than you want to and keep the door closed more than you used to. Its like your own private world now and its difficult to handle it as your habits become very similar to your college days where mom and dad didn't know what you were up to. Calls from the husbands are infrequent and its hard to explain what you did all day long. The 'I love yous' and 'Miss yous' are frequent even if the calls are short. Makes me more eager to see him again. Perhaps I am in that stage in life where I enjoy being this wildly romantic soul where the world is always a better place if I am in his arms.
Marriage itself is a holiday for me, so a holiday from holiday becomes sinful than ever and too much of good thing is not really fun afterwards. So is separation another way of making us realize how important he is our lives? In a way a lady gets to enjoy the freedom and apart from being a wife gets to experience loneliness and ways to handle it. I have come to enjoy my loneliness. I enjoy my own time because the less I talk, the more I realize there are so many things in life I have done to regret nothing. One good thing did come out of all this thinking- I am glad I married him.

Thursday, November 10, 2011

Why my mom rocks- completely!

It is a known fact that a woman is the backbone of a family. And a woman who runs the house is the one that makes its a home. As a kid I didn't understand these facts. I had a working mom who managed home like a pro and whenever there was a hitch I wouldn't know of it. Moms are such great creatures that only the lucky ones get. But a Mom who are enterprising, perfectionist and a great friend is an added jewel in the house. I see some moms lying in front of the TV having no other thing in the world once their children are settled and this somehow unsettles me. Its as if they have lost their zest for life. They talk randomly about TV soaps and what character did what and it only makes me pity them because I see one shining example of a mother who has never stopped living. My mother is what one would call a woman of substance. She got married young and went on to complete her Masters in Education only to later open a school and dedicate her life to improving lives. Along side were her three daughters who were blossoming under her care. Of course a loving husband helps and I never remember feeling alone. She is also a great cook. Coming from a Bengali background she knew none of what my dad's Punjabi's family liked. Now she expert is in making South Indian, Chinese, Punjabi, Gujrati and so on. She always takes her life as a challenge and I am looking forward to see my mom grow everyday- as a person and as a great friend.