Sunday, August 30, 2015

Love At A Coffee Shop- A Transgender Story

This post is a part of Write Over the Weekend, an initiative for Indian Bloggers by BlogAdda.

She looked at me frankly and curious too. I found her enchanting. She had long hair, wavy but ended in curls, blond highlights that might have faded away to a dull finish now. Her eyes were small with a button like nose and a mouth that held the most beautiful smile. I turned over on my seat and blinked at my image staring back at me in the mirror. 
I could see the woman who was hiding behind manly clothes, waiting for everyone to see me as just that. How could anyone know how i felt? A woman. A man. Or both?
I just knew that down inside I was born to be a woman. 
The cup of coffee getting cold beneath my fingers as I fidgeted with a broken pencil, just like my broken spirit. I still had the previous evening to write but the writer in me didn't. I just wanted sit back in my chair and finish the book. I wish it was a romance because if anything that I needed in my life was just love. My parents are still unaware. They think that I am their little boy. My face was changing too and with the hormone supplement, I was feeling sensitive and teary-eyed often.
"Do you mind if I sit with you? The entire coffee shop seems to be filled with young students", the man sat without my consent and I looked away, not wanting to meet his eyes. 
"Sure", I muttered, still staring into my book.
"Would you like another coffee? I don't see that consumable now", he was trying to be light. Trying to laugh but I didn't know how to react. I was wary of his friendliness.
"No. I am fine".
After a few minutes of silence, I found him staring at me, and mostly trying to peep into my book. 
"You haven't written a word since you are here. Do you want to borrow a pen?"
He handed out an expensive looking pen at me, "Take it. It won't bite".
I took it without hesitation. Will that shut him up? I was staring at him now. He was a handsome guy. Not in a model like of way. He had a receding hairline but his eyes and face had an open endearing look that I could not imagine anyone saying 'No' to him. He wore a simple blue stripped shirt with rolled up sleeves, showing off his very tanned wrists and fingers that seemed to clench and unclench over his cup of coffee. He had long fingers and his body was bulky as if he worked out in the gym.
"Would you mind if I tell you that you are one of the most pretty faces I have ever seen in a long time?"
I didn't mind at all.
"I get that a lot".
Even when I dressed as a man. I got that compliment. Not handsome. Pretty. And I glowed under my mother's disapproving eyes.
"You should let me buy you a coffee".
"No thanks. I have a doctor's appointment and I can't really have much of caffeine with my prescription".
My voice had change through time now. Six months! And I did deliberately tone my voice down, try to sound like a girl.
"You look fit to me..."
I wanted to tell him everything and stop this useless flirtation. I am not what you think I am. I am a transgender. But still a woman who wants to come out in this world and be herself.
But I just got up and left, leaving behind a romance that could have been mine. 

A year later

Same Coffee Shop.

I held my book in my hands. Finished. Published and open in front of the entire world now. The publisher had been excited to get this manuscript, said that India was getting into this 'Pride' moment. This is what it needed. I could literally see the dollar signs in his eyes. And I wasn't too unhappy about my royalty check too. I was independent now. I could afford that sex change operation now. My parents were still coming to terms with my sexuality and I was coming to terms with my life at the moment. I was twenty now. Studying in the college where I used to be a boy. 

"Can I get an autograph, Ms Writer?"
I picked up the pen for another signature. Nina. That was the name I had chosen from Niel. 
"Red suits you".
I looked up and saw him again. He still had the same lazy smile as if it hadn't shocked him.
"Hi again", I said shyly, "So now you know and you can hate me. I am used to it".
"Would it shock you if you if I asked you for a coffee now?"
I lost my voice.
"I mean after you are done with the event. Let's get to know each other again. Man or woman, I really find you intriguing".
And I said yes. It felt freeing. And I felt like I was flying already. 


  1. O WOW. This truely is. Loved it completely. Thanks for the insight into the world full of complex emotions. I never thought about it.

  2. Lovely story :) In India doing anything is out of the ordinary and rewarded with questions and stares. Great plot :)

    1. True. And its a constipated society that could deter some young minds but i m also glad that everything's out in open.

  3. A lovely story. That should be our point of importance to the person inside, not the gender...

    1. Thank you Maniparna. So true, so often we forget the person inside us

  4. Congratulations on winning the WOW badge.

    A wonderful story. I really loved your take on the prompt.
    Recently, I had been doing a research on the same and written an article on my findings.
    You have expressed the emotions so well that Nina is real to me with her fear, apprehensions and acceptance.

    If you wish to read the article, it is at the below link
    Sex, Gender and Sexuality – It’s not black and white anymore

    1. Thank you Salvwi, You really have given me the greatest compliment. I am checking your link...:)


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